The North Carolina State Fair is to North Carolina what Summer is to Michigan. Lasts about 10 days with enough junk food to last 10 years, and hundreds of thousands of people who haven't seen the sun in months.
Mind you, my point of reference when it comes to fairs is generally what shows up in a strip mall parking lot on a random summer weekend. Nothing my mother would ever let me go to no matter how much I begged. By comparison, the North Carolina State Fair had perpetual sunshine and you could hear angels singing. It was incredible!
It was suggested that a group of us go on a Digital Scavenger Hunt through the fair. Look for mullets and poultry, that sort of thing (but not mullets with poultry or poultry with mullets). So we started at 8 on a Saturday night and in about 90 minutes I witnessed the following:
I saw my first pig race. Sponsored by Harley-Davidson. With pigs named for NASCAR drivers. Although technically I think they were piglets, they looked a little small compared to the huge blue-ribbon winning trash-eaters in the livestock arena.
I have it on very good account that the world's smallest horse is slightly bigger than a border collie, but smaller than a mastiff. This is first-hand from a very observant 7-year old. The world's largest snake had it's own tent. (Which I did not go into. I crossed on the other side of the street. I don't do snakes. And we were looking for the world's largest alligator anyway) As a side-note, thankfully these two exhibits were nowhere near each other.
The food hit all the finer points of "The Joy of Cooking - Redneck Edition": Chocolate Covered Bacon (Pig Lickens), Cotton Candy, Hushpuppies, Deep Fried PB&J, Deep Fried Oreo's, Deep Fried Mac-n-Cheese, Deep Fried Banana Splits, Deep Fried Pickles, and my personal favorite - Deep Fried Pecan Pie (on a stick), Corn Dogs, Hot Dogs, Hot Fish, Elephant Ears, Pop Corn, Carmel Corn, Kettle Corn, and Roasted Corn on the Cob, Turkey Legs (had to weigh at least 4 pounds apiece), Steak Fries, Steak Bites, and Steak Sandwiches, Sno Kones, and, of course, fresh salad. With a good breeze you can smell the fair all the way in Harnett County.
The State Fair gaming industry was also impressive. You can play Bingo, Pin the tail on the donkey, Pin the tail on your grandma, Ring toss, Ping Pong ball toss, kid toss, and lunch toss (after the chocolate covered bacon eating). People will guess your weight, birthday, name, favorite color and even your quest. And the prizes for these mind-bending challenges? Stuffed animals of every size, color, species, and genre. I got hit in the head by a blow-up baseball bat and hit in the knees by a Star Wars Light Sabre (filled with glitter). You can also win a set of screwdrivers (all the same size) with glow in the dark handles, a hula skirt, a confederate flag blanket for the bench seat of your pickup, an inflatable spiderman, or a basketball that is 36" in diameter.
And the rides! Oh, the rides. The kind that roll in on the back of a 37 year old pick-up truck, assembled by a chain smoker in 45 minutes and operated by someone who hasn't slept in about 3 days. There are ferris wheels (multiple), the same Himalayan and Twister that I rode as a kid, rides that will spin you around whip you upside down and make you wish you had skipped the deep fried ho-ho's (that soon become re-fried uh-oh's).
There was every animal you could ever hope to find on a farm. Rabbits, chickens, geese, horses, cows, pigs, baby turkeys, ducklings, goats, goats, and more goats, sheep, llamas, baby donkeys, and a couple of camels. Yeah, I know, camels.
And a demolition derby, magic show, tractor pull, RV parking, bike show, clowns, and MAGICAL POODLES!
So take that parking-lot-strip-mall carnival! (And don't worry mom, I stayed off the rides & away from strangers!)
(Deep Fried Pie on a Stick - yum)
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